No class for 9 days now, yikes! It's always difficult when K disappears from the face of the earth. One wants to reach out, and one wants to let alone. Then also, an unsettling fear resides in me that it was all a dream, or a thing of the past.

On the other hand, each time this happens is a necessary reminder of my ultimate goal in this whole ballet journey, which is to gain complete independence from K. To not need him to do ballet, to carry it within myself-- "it" being the knowledge, the physical ability, and the wherewithal to bring myself to the barre every day and give myself class instead of having to go to K for these things. To that end, this latest disappearance has been healthy-- a healthy reminder. Still...

Timeline: A re-working of a doodle I made for K last August 2010