No class for 9 days now, yikes! It's always difficult when K disappears from the face of the earth. One wants to reach out, and one wants to let alone. Then also, an unsettling fear resides in me that it was all a dream, or a thing of the past.

On the other hand, each time this happens is a necessary reminder of my ultimate goal in this whole ballet journey, which is to gain complete independence from K. To not need him to do ballet, to carry it within myself-- "it" being the knowledge, the physical ability, and the wherewithal to bring myself to the barre every day and give myself class instead of having to go to K for these things. To that end, this latest disappearance has been healthy-- a healthy reminder. Still...

Timeline: A re-working of a doodle I made for K last August 2010

Ballet En Solitude

Turns through first:
-impetus for turn comes from upper back; keep it solid, upright
-relax turnout of supporting foot if it is impeding feeling of groundedness & pull-up
-keep ribs "floating"
-avoid turning so much in initial preparatory close; carry this idea to chainE turns
 -----------------------------------
-step-turns at the barre: oppositional twisting action of way inner thigh muscles (pelvic floor muscles?); lift from ribs
-turns: ground the ribs; float the ribs
-back cambrE: pull up from back/scapula, not from shoulders; depress shoulders in fact
-back attitude: pull up the U-shape formed by upper body and upper leg
-at all times, look out past myself; the theatrical gaze

-a space at the barre in honor of the fallen hero of ballet
-extreme effacE pose: avoid 'hanging head' & hanging on for dear life; do emphasize deep curve by reaching head back toward toe
-step turn en dehors, step turn en dedans at barre: relax (check!), beginning and ending steps step slightly forward (check!), stop turn with a firm foot (check!), keep frisbee in check (...oops...)
-there goes another pipe
-who keeps dropping the pipe?
-en dedans turns through 1st at barre: push supporting heel forward, keep following foot in 1st (ie: keep hips open); prepare immediately for side degagEs by squeezing gluts and consolidating rib cage
-piquE arabesque: think of as (temps lie) elancE
-evolution of the arabesque: form vs. gaze; inverted heavens vs. reaching; the we vs. the I

Balancing aides, past, present, and fictional: 
-the barre
-straps and pulleys
-K's hand
-an imaginary prince

You mistake me...for Denise Austin! C'mon guys! And pliE! PliE! PliE! Burn that butter! And one! Two! Three! Four! Five!...after five comes six...Six! Seven! Eight! That's right! Just 8 more to go! Ready? If you rest, you rust! And one! Two! Three! Four! Five!...after five comes six...Six! Seven! Eight!...I'll put on my little microphone...You're worth it!...We are thinking human beings. The spin class is across the hall...

~Ballet-Aerobics fantasy class

Do you remember what we did last week?

temps liE effacE: tilt the head back & look toward the audience to accentuate line created by tendu leg; arms closed toward the audience; close front, front, back, back in order to begin w/ effacE each time

Do you remember what you did yesterday?

-karaoke
-came home to a bloody kitchen
-celebrated survival with coconut layered cake
-a discussion on happiness that carried on until 4 in the morning
-temps liE elancE w/ cambrE

-an adagio that really was an adagio (not an allegro adagio)
-there goes the pipe
-piquE arabesque (1st, 3rd, 2nd, 4th): to balance, relax the back to keep going up and avoid collapsing; step farther out; rib cage hangs over leg; strong piquE; visualize final image
-5th port de bras! Scooping down into 4th port de bras. Nice.
-as a rule, one cannot hold on to a noun forever; examples of nouns: barres, ballet, beloveds
-en pointe: the elastic band is more important than the ribbons; an adventurous, precarious beginning to the study of pointe

List of things to do today:

-ballet warm-up
-sew ribbons on toe shoes
-draw a unicorn
-read
-play outside
-Symmetry note
-ballet class

plier, etendre, jeter, glisser, relever, elancer, tourner, sauter, plier, etendre, jeter, glisser, relever, elancer, tourner, sauter plier etendre jeter glisser relever elancer tourner sauter plier etendre jeter glisser relever elancer tourner sauter plie etendre jeter glisser relever elancer tourner sauter plieretendrejeter glisserreleverelancertournersauterplieretendrejeter glisserreleverelancer
tournersauter
plier...

-8 essential movements of classical dance: Deborah, Ellen, Margaret, Megan, Jeannie, Mary, Angie, and Sarah (note: the last two are interchangeable...for obvious reasons)
-ballet did not spring out of a cave fully formed and immutable; that was Athena of ancient Greek fame
-dance is music without sound; bodies are the instruments of expression, and eyes are the receivers of the music; that said,
-in music, notes without rhythmic structure is about as meaningful as an alphabet without an associated language; that is to say, it is utterly meaningless; thus, we must learn to associate rhythmic structure with the actual steps; the hills are alive with soundless music
-in pirouettes, internalize grounding site in torso, not arm
-turns w/ jetE: good ballet posture leads to stability
-good ballet posture: tuck under, zip up, rib cage, sternum, lean forward, arms forward

What is the significance of the number sequence 2, 3, 5?
(a) first three prime numbers
(b) 699th, 700th, and 701st digits of pi
(c) head position for high arm
(d) bank pin number of the ex-dictator of Egypt

non-answer: (d)

ChainEs: ie: the Russian ruble game
-step 1 is not the first turn; thus
-do not overcross step 1; let following leg follow with less energy
-hip out at step 1 like ice skater coming to a quick stop; this is the launch

Ballon:
-means "balloon" in French
-in ballet, refers to the ability of the dancer to sustain a jump in the air
-every jump, no matter how small, must be carried out with this quality of ballon; functionally speaking, the longer a jump is held, the more time the audience has to receive the image
-eg: in ballotE (a move that is like as pas de chat b/c feet cross in air), the quality of ballon gives the illusion of floating
-in general, changing the configuration of the body while in flight masks the descending portion of a jump's trajectory, thus creating the illusion of floating

Breathing Life into Ballet

The winds of change have come and whisked away the old b&w photos, turned the page from Terpsichore to a twisted terpsichorean interpretation of rock 'n roll, hung up the bouquet of wilting roses, and out in the foyer, a dynamic image of Serge Lifar in mid-flight is impressed upon us: back arched, muscles of the legs bulging, bold, the hands flung with the delicacy of scarves yet full of life, the eyes wellsprings of emotion. He seems ready to leap out of the page in all his graphite-and-ink glory.

Similarly, we must impress our image upon the audience, constantly going forward and upward. Similarly, when, for example, we pose in attitude at various angles, we are not to become objects to look at, but remain human beings conveying ideas to the audience. Carry the body forward and with aplomb--a constant dynamic energy that flows from the floor to the pelvic floor to the top of the head and shoots out like a geyser--; and may the eyes be full of life and wordless, soundless speech.

-let the arm lead the gaze; do not look through the arm
-erase the mirror; redraw the fermE front, back, and side
-be ready to move: lean slightly forward, expand space in front of sternum
-warped syllogism: ballerinas lean upper torso slightly more forward than the average human being; the average human being leans farther back than the ideal human being; therefore, all living human beings should lean their upper torso slightly forward
-heehee! babies learning to walk! silly creatures! But that is what we are...a matter of building strength in the abdominal wall through continual practice; eliminate the lumbar curve-- which deepens as hips tip forward-- by tucking tailbone back under; sensation is of everything from below belly button on up zipping up into a very tight vest
-assemblE jumps: what did we say about the epaulement? Nothing. Shoulders are not the featured action. The shoulders soften the featured action of the legs/feet.
-croisE and ecartE assemblEs across the floor; foot slides through first in ecartE assemble; again, let the arm lead the gaze; look up, not into arm
-go through the ball of the foot in each tendu
-all 8 essential barre exercises: pliE, battement tendu, battement jetE, rond de jambe, fondu, frappE, adagio, grand battement

We spun until the sun broke through, sudden and brief. A fast-footed class. A center combination turns grand allegro, and we tumble ball-like into Prokofiev's score: jarring, percussive, farcical.

A conceptually compelling class. 

-A rond de jambe combination exhibiting a great degree of circularity in both form and pattern of movement; laden with luxurious cambrEs, it circles to a natural close with the other half of the port de corps en rond.
-Rond de jambe fouettE combination at Center becomes math-y: Does this center combination lie in the set of reversibles, R? If so, what is its reverse? As in math, certain paths are fundamentally restricted; certain operations are performed in order to produce a particular outcome; the existence of constants. Leads to a curious idea: the symbolic representation of ballet combinations.
-There is no right or wrong; just closed systems that obey fundamental rules and build on them. We can only define or prove something as a truth within the closed system to which it belongs. Moreover, as Kurt Godel proved in 1931, all logical systems of any complexity are incomplete. Computers will never be as smart as human beings, and human beings can never know themselves fully. That said, some closed systems are more general, ie: more universal, than others. For instance, ballet is a fairly general human-centric system. A central tenet of contemporary ballet is that movement emanates from the beginning of the rib cage, the focal point of the modern classical sense of curvature.

Catharsis

A belief in the necessity of catharsis. From the Ancient Greek κάθαρσις, meaning 'cleansing' or 'purging'; Coined as a dramaturgical concept by Aristotle in his Poetics. A medical metaphor that describes the extreme emotional transformation a soul undergoes as a result of experiencing intense emotion (sorrow, fear, pity, laughter, etc.) through the dramatic arts. A means of purging the soul and restoring its emotional balance.

Tendu:

-grow more in the supporting glut
-don't let the motion of the foot affect the attached hip
-placement and separation of rib cage
-keep weight on both feet as long as possible and massage floor
-close by squeezing gluts/inner thighs rather than by shifting entire body back

-Pas de biche: a cervine move. What's the difference between a stag and a doe? Besides the obvious-- antlers-- the female deer's leap is ornamented by a dainty rond de jambe. The French are keen observers of nature.
-A flavor of yoga, but not too breathy and free of chakras.
-A dash of tango via overcrossing and the (leader's) box step.
-En pointe: the secret to pulling up is pushing down. Push forcefully into the ground.

-consensus for the Great Crunches Debate: crunches for abdominal knitting; cambrEs for the back of the trunk
-rib cage placement & separation from lower body; for eg: when standing in 5th, in pirouettes, pique arabesques, and ouvert to 1st arabesque
-how to close rib cage: flick (causes involuntary muscle contraction); release breath; meeting point of X-band
-3 ways of breathing: chest, diaphragm, and lateral expansion of ribs
-frappe frappe frappe beat CHANGE
-remnants of NYC momentarily slow down music
-what happens on count X, where X ∈ ℕ? PliE.

-in assemblEs, entire torso must be carried through aplomb; a great sense of growth, or lift, must be felt through the entire spine (incl. head)
-The Basic Stance (TBS): catching snow, light radiating outward from sternum, a kiss on the cheek by a very tall man, earlobes tugged to the ceiling, belly button pulled in toward the spine, a very tight vest, look out! breathe
-first four essential barre exercises: plie, battement tendu, battement tendu jetE, rond de jambe
-Solve: 8n=96; n=12 sets of 8 degagEs from first at an ever increasing pace; fun times for the gluts

-turns through 1st: keep hips open; energy in hips
-flic-flac mechanics are coming along! a note of satisfaction is detected
-arabesque stretch at barre: straight leg for gorillas; bent leg for all other beasts with arms of average length
-jetE battu assemblE pass: maintain turnout when foot passes through 1st for glissade; kick leg out high enough to complete the following battu
-saran wrap, angst, and stripping with abandon: makings of a 21st century dance